i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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