When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
