This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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