I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
