Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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