she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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