I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
