So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I need a beard to bite.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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