You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
