small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
