when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
