I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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