the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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