how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
