Betty ford says i'm here all night
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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