She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
