So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I am one with the molecules
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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