Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
