Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
