Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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