Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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