i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
