Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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