Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Couch. On fire.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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