Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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