I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
