If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
