Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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