help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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