Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
