wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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