Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
