yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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