Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
