I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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