This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
