Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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