I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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