No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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