"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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