Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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