You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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