i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
