Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
