Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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