Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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