i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
