Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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