i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
