i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
