Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
