I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
