how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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