Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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