Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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