He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
