omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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