Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
