Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
