I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
