oh god the rape fog is back!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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