no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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