My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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