"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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