I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
