This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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