i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize