I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
