singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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