You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
